Week 7…My Toughest Week Yet!

This last week has been tougher than I expected! My pain has returned to what it was before returning from Germany. I knew this was a possibility and or expected, but it’s so hard sometimes to remember that it will get better when you are in so much pain and so tired.

I even missed my call with Dr. Michael last Tuesday because I slept through my alarm.

I have been experiencing once again the numbness and shooting pain in my arms and legs. Massive head aches, dizziness, and I don’t even want to really talk about the fatigue. I sleep for 10-12 hours and still can’t do anything. I try to do things around the house and after 20 mins I have to sit down. Honestly, I kind of forgot how bad my pain was until it came back. I think I hadn’t realized how much it had actually improved until now.

I’m trying all that I can do to get my pain to subside. I am using a hemp-based rub on my achy body parts, soaking in Epsom salts, getting a therapeutic massage (which is not always as relaxing as it seems), and I have even looked into getting a lymphatic machine to assists with proper detoxification and draining of the lymphatic system. Kristina Bauer actually told me about it and has had great success with it helping her and her kids when they are in need. This machine is quite expensive, but I’m desperate. The timing just sucks because this time of year is expensive and to ask my parents to pay for yet another thing for my disorder is just asking a lot.

On top of all of this I start school in a month and my internship two weeks after that. This week has put me in a state of worry. I am worried I won’t be able to keep up with my school work and be present the way I need to be at my internship. I’m worried that my body isn’t ready and honestly, I just cannot have that be an option.

Don’t get me wrong, I am trying my best to think positive, but I want to share both the good AND the bad with all of you. I don’t want to sugar coat anything or make it seem as though this process is a beautiful walk in the park, cause it’s not!

Yes, over the last month or so there have been many steps forward, but, as expected, in the last 7 days I have had significant steps back and these steps back suck!

In reality, I may need to make myself rest more, but I feel so useless and helpless when all I do is sit or lay down all day. It’s not something that comes easily to me.

I am also struggling with the fact that this is the first Christmas i won’t be home with my family. Not the easiest thing to deal with but thankfully I have my fiancé’s awesome family to make me feel loved and at home (my second home).

I have my weekly call with Dr. Michael tomorrow. We will talk about ways in which we can possibly making things better and adding things that will hopefully help me.

I am hoping I can start feeling a little better before Christmas next week! I will update you all again soon!

With Love,

Abby

A courageous warrior is armed and ready for anything life may throw her way because she is filled and sourced each day by divine love and the knowledge that challenge is a part of her journey.

-Debbie Ford